The Beginning

Although I've spent the last 8 years working on myself and my mental health, it's really only been the last year or so that I've made real and significant progress. Maybe it's because I'm closer to 30 now and my brain has done all it's developing. Maybe it's because my life has much much less chaos than it did when I was growing up. Maybe it was the things I learned in my Master's degree. I don't really know. But I'm grateful for the progress. I feel like a different person now than 3 years ago. I'm DEFINITELY a different person now than I was 6, 8, 10 years ago. 

Having two kids almost back to back was rough on my body, my brain, and my mental health. It took a good min to get it back in line. I'm glad I pushed through to get where I am today. My kids are smart and happy and healthy. I have a wonderful marriage. I have 3 degrees to help me with the career I've always dreamed of having (and about 60k in student loans). I'm smarter, I'm wiser, I'm stronger. I'm a better friend, a better wife and mother. 

I've worked so hard to get where I am today that I just have to say that I'm proud of myself. I didn't do it alone though. I got help from my husband, my best friend Sean, 2 therapists, and medicine. I've never been a big fan of pharmaceutical meds but I know they have and serve a purpose. 

I recently hit a point where I had to change my meds. I'm glad I was able to realize quickly that it was time. I was suffering and there was little I could do to fix it outside of changing my meds. And it changed my whole mental status and outlook on life. 

I'm so grateful for all the friends that have stuck by my side all these years. They are truly amazing and wonderful people. They've helped me grow to understand that abandonment is not a permanent part of my life. It was a big part of my childhood and early adulthood but it's not forever. There ARE people who love me enough to stick by my side through thick and thin....and for them I am eternally grateful.