I don't understand. I'm a good worker. I'm a hard worker. I'm a quick learner. I LOVE to work. I'm loyal, compassionate, empathetic, kind, understanding, and a damn good employee.
Why can't I find and score a payroll job that pays well? I just wanna be able to buy a cute little house and live a nice little life. I don't want much. I have never asked for much in my life.
Sean Pryor and Mitchell (my husband) have given me more in life than I could have EVER asked for or even thought I deserved. Sean currently is the co-signer on my apartment, my vehicle, and pays me every week. For that I am forever grateful and in his eternal debt (in my mind). I'm sure if I asked he would be willing to help me get a house but I just can't make myself ask. I just can't. That's not in my nature to be like "hey, can you help me get a house even though you do so much for me already??". I feel bad even thinking about it or typing this out currently. Makes me feel greedy. Ungrateful. Idk, maybe I'm being moody.
Maybe I just need more sleep. Maybe I need cuddles. Idk. What I do know is that I want a job and a career. I want to be able to provide for my family. I want to feel like I'm standing on my own two feet and making something of myself. I have a Master's degree for God's sakes. WHICH I DID WHILE RAISING A TODDLER AND BEING PREGNANT/RAISING A NEWBORN. Does that not show commitment and hard work and the ability to thrive and succeed under pressure? How can I not score a good job with a company that appreciates me? Ughhhhhhhhhh. I hate feeling like this.
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